June ’24 Chiang Mai
Frankenstein's monster: "Friends good..... fire bad!"
To quote Mary Shelley (or Mel Brooks), “Friends good, fire bad,” is a reminder to expats that it is good to hang out with people you know when you can. It brings comfort from home. We took a 4 day’r to Bangkok to have meals, talk and chat, see some ‘sites’ and hang with a friend. All food for the soul. No fire took place on this trip. I just happen to like that quote.
There is a very different feel in Bangkok than in Chiang Mai. A comparison might be New York to Seattle. It has all been said before: faster, bigger, everything’er. Just walking the main part of Bangkok verses Chiang Mai is as different as a rose and a cup of sugar.
My internal ‘danger meter’ is stuck on zero in Thailand and Bangkok is no exception. I hope this is not a misconception, but I am convinced it is not. I talked to my friend, who was born in Bangkok and spends half of her year here, about this. “Bill, it’s true. You are truly safe here” This may be juxtaposed with walking the streets towards our dining destination where every block seemed to have a business dedicated to work done by attractive young women. You see them lounging outside an establishment trying to look alluring. For me, not so much. There is something ‘not alluring’ about 5 dolled up 19-year-olds looking directly at you and saying hello in unison. Cute, yes for sure! Alluring, no. Women under 40 can’t be mysterious or alluring. They haven’t paid their dues yet. I do wonder what type of business needs 4 or 5 women outside to promote it. The business across the street has a portable reader board with a picture of an automotive transmission and that seemed to suffice for them.
It’s nighttime and 87 degrees in Bangkok. The sidewalks are busy and full of energy. I realize I am relaxed and comfortable just taking in the street-world around me. I’m not saying for you to go to a neighborhood dedicated to tourists, bars, and professional women, and have 10 beers then flaunt your wealth. I’m just saying that 98% of the city is a good place to be.
On the drive home from the restaurant we ran into some difficult traffic. We waited several minutes on a side street for the cars in front of us to move. This gave me an opportunity to watch two aged men play checkers using a cloth board and plastic beads. They were sitting on a concrete structure on the sidewalk. It was dark with no streetlight. They were using a small, primitive lamp placed next to the game board to see. It illuminated the scene such that I could follow along as a voyeur looking out from the window of a car. All around them was pitch black with flickering shadows. Their faces glowed where I could see their expressions. They were passing time; probably like they do most nights. They were poor. Real poor. Two men, shirtless, skin darkened by years of working in the sun, and with weathered faces that have seen a lifetime of poverty. I checked my investments, and they made $3710.22 yesterday. I am humbled and grateful. The roll of the ‘dice of luck’ has been my side for most of my life.
This photo is taken the next day. You’ll just have to imagine two men sitting cross legged on either side of the red brick playing checkers with their lifelong friend. In the end, I think I’m glad I didn’t take a photo that night. I don’t want to shed such a negative light on two people, though it was a moment I wanted to share. BTW my investments went down the following day. So, easy come, easy go.
The Service Industry... the people who do the real work
Jarid Restaurant
Best bartender in Chiang Mai? Maybe. Neo at Jarid is my pick. Have I been to 20 high end places? No. Have I been around Chiang Mai for years? No. Can I pick out a consummate professional? Yep.
The best? I certainly don’t have the experience here, but he is def top tier. The real deal. The real ‘McCoy’. I enjoy watching him work.
When traveling or even in our case, being expats, much of your social interaction is with people in the service industry. In our former lives we spent 8 hours a day at ‘work’ with people we’d known for years if not decades. But on the ‘road’ social interaction has evolved.
We have begun to see the same people over and over again as we tend to stay in the ‘hood for food, groceries and sundries. I’m not sure if I know what a ‘sundry’ is. I believe I’ll just let it lie and not look it up on Google. I assume it is something that happens after Saturday. So, there. Anyhoo, where was I? Yes, we are regulars at certain businesses. Especially restaurants.
Going to restaurants in Thailand is not like it is in the US, where going out to a restaurant may be a treat. Here it just makes sense. Dinner is cheaper and better than cooking at home.
Maison Bistro
As I walk in, I get a nod and a smile from the owner of my favorite restaurant, Maison. Unfortunately for my wallet, it not only is a little expensive (mostly because I get a nice bottle of wine to go… and a beer while I wait) They are the first business/restaurant right outside of our condo. I order food to go and halfway through the order she turns to the bartender to have her get my favorite beer, knowing I always have a cold one as I wait. When I complete my order she says, “Something red”? I nod.
The bartender returns to my table, delivers the beer and grabs a bottle of my favorite wine off the shelf near me and I say, “can you….?” before I finish my sentence, she says “I know”, and then places the bottle of wine in the freezer to drop the temp a few degrees. These people know what they are doing.
Best restaurant in Nimman? In my humble opinion, yes. This is Nith (pronounced ‘neat’), the owner of Maison, a French and Thai bistro located in the Nimman area. Casual dining but with knowledge of restaurant etiquette. The Beef Bourguignon is to die for. Add some French bread, a glass of wine and end with a cheese plate….OMG!
Initially she kinda seemed to be that stereotypical grumpy French chef type. This is something I just love. I once saw her scold some 20-something Chinese tourists on how they screwed up when ‘they’ ordered salads. When she started walking towards me, I got so nervous that I buttoned the top button on my shirt.
This citizen of the world was born in France to Laotian parents. She returned to Asia 10 years ago and made a home in Chiang Mai for the last 7 years. She is kind of a human fruit smoothie with flavors from around the world. Why Chiang Mai? “Good timing” was the answer I received. As I am older, I observe people working their professions at an exceptional level of skill. I may think to myself, “I would hire them if I ever opened a ‘so and so’ business.” On the other hand, I would just hope Neth would be so kind as to hire me.
Pop Up Restaurant
Outside it is 105 degrees and these guys are working it. We are regulars for lunch at this place that we don’t even know the name of. We call it ‘Pop-Up’ because it just pops up in the outside dining area of Osaka Nimman. Normally a Japanese restaurant by night but taken over by these guys every morning.
I remember feeling welcome as we were dining at Osaka early on in our stay in Chiang Mai. As we were walking by a table, we received a group ‘hello’ (in Thai). It turns out to be our lunch guys have a few cocktails after work. They had a pint of whiskey on the table, so they were a little ‘lit’ but friendly.
Unfortunately, at the time of this posting Osaka Restaurant and the Pop-Up have moved to new locations. We are bummed. Sometimes people, places and times change. Our dessert vendor who set up across from Khao Tom Baht returned to Bangkok. The new gelato place, that made cones that looked like roses, seemed to close after only a few months.
Somewhere around 7 pm I have made a nightly habit of taking a short walk to one of the several eateries for dinner (take out). Met at Khao Tom Baht Diao gives me a welcome smile and recites the 5 things we usually get. The young Burmese guy at Pizza My Heart says “same/same?” At Jarid, the bartender (Neo) knows I like ‘Monkey Shoulder’ scotch and a vodka martini for Diane. The waiter at this same restaurant, TK, opens his heart to Diane and me about his life. They both have become people we are genuinely fond of.
My morning walk is another venue where I have developed small relationships. Maybe that is a big word, but I believe the security guys at our condo know us enough to say ‘hello’ with some feeling and recognition.
Things done differently now that we're in Thailand
I have not driven a car in 7 months. For that matter, I haven’t mowed a lawn in over a year. I now eat better, drink less wine and a tad less beer. Well, not less beer but they do come in 11 oz cans. I drink them over ice which removes the calories. Yeah, that is how it works… and I have lost a little weight (12 kilos in one year) and am generally healthy. We both have our morning workout routines. Diane’s is more vigorous than my walks, but I am the one feeding the cats. So, I get a pass.
Walking is a welcome necessity here. While living in the Seattle area I would drive 3 blocks to the grocery store where walking would not even cross my mind. In a 4500 lb. metal box with four wheels, I would never have human contact. Not even just say to a stranger “good morning”. I would not get to know the neighborhood cats nor notice ‘the goings on’ of the area we now live in. It is a great feeling when walking towards someone with ‘grumpy resting face’ and have them light up with a big smile when I say hello. I notice the changes that small businesses are making from seeing new product in their display windows to just seeing someone sweeping the sidewalk getting ready for another business day.
I watch a tad less TV. Diane watches a tad more due to her addiction to K-dramas (Korean Comedy/Dramas). From personal experience I have learned these K-dramas are crystal meth for the eyes. I dare you to watch the first two episodes of “Extraordinary Attorney Woo” on Netflix. I was on a 3-month bender until I entered a 12-step program located in the basement of a nearby community center. Most everyone smoked cigarettes and drank coffee out of a Styrofoam cup and talked about the story lines of our favorite episodes. It certainly deserved the 100% it received from Rotten Tomatoes.
I feel safer. A good example was the day after Thai new year, I went on my daily morning walk. While walking down a usually deserted street at 6:30am I encountered a dozen or so young Thai, mostly men between 18 and 25 years old. Honestly, they are just sitting and laying around and looking hung over. It looks like had all pulled an all-nighter. I just sauntered between them and continued my delightful morning walk. There is no other country in the world where I have been where I have felt safer and more comfortable. It did not cross my mind to avoid them or go the other way. I’m in Thailand and they were Thai. ‘Nuff said.
I write and create more. Diane has joined the choir at Sacred Heart Cathedral. She is a new cantor and has found a home there. I walk on busy streets with oncoming traffic because the sidewalks are too full of cars, pop-up businesses, scooters or general mayhem. I’ve mastered the art of crossing the street. Unless you’ve been here, this is hard to explain. If you wait until both ways are clear, you will be there until your death. Occasionally, I’ll see skeletal remains of a tourist still wearing the ubiquitous elephant pants and clutching an umbrella in their hands. They should have just learned to cross the street. So, walk across one lane and stand in the middle until the other lane clears. It is how you do it. BTW there are precious few traffic lights or crosswalks here. When driving a vehicle, the rules tend to be as follows: The first one to the intersection has right of way unless the other car is going faster. If it is rush hour, try to remember you are all on the same team just trying to get home. Don’t get your panties in a bundle if someone cuts you off. Truly, this is why it works here. People don’t get overly upset. If someone decides to make a U-turn during rush hour on a 6-lane highway, you just slow down and give them room so they can do so. I have learned a term in Bangkok that describes this best. It is ‘Jai Yen’. It means “Cool Heart”. It pretty much means staying cool, calm, and collected.
Thank you so much for reading! I may have a treat for next month. Stay tuned.
